By Dr. Daneen Skube
From Tribune Content Agency
Question: I’ve always been stubborn. My boss told me she doesn’t want to promote me because of my stubbornness. How can I change when it’s just the way I am? Isn’t tenacity when I’m right a good thing? How can I show my boss that she should promote me?
Answer: You can show your boss that she should promote you by realizing your interpersonal habit is a habit, which is changeable. You can also realize that tenacity, when used in the service of being right, is self-destructiveness.
Notice how you start your question, stating that you’ve always been stubborn, as if you are stating your hair color. While it’s true there’s some biology to character traits, most interpersonal habits are learned. The good news is that if we can learn a trait—one that keeps us from earning promotions—then we can unlearn that same trait….