It won’t be a surprise to most of us that up to 50 percent of marriages in the United States fail. In his book “The All or Nothing Marriage,” psychology professor Eli Finkel describes the increasing expectations that strain marriages: “In contrast to our predecessors, who looked to their marriage to help them survive, we look to our marriage to meet our needs for passion and intimacy and to facilitate our voyages of self-discovery and personal growth.” With material needs met, the desire for “self-actualization” is natural, but Finkel’s research confirms what we probably already suspect: “Just as we have increasingly looked to our marriage to help us fulfill higher-level needs, we have decreasingly invested the time and energy required for the marriage to meet these expectations.” We still believe in romantic relationships, but we often don’t appreciate the effort required to build a healthy one. Worse yet, in combination with investing …