One cool thing about being a parent is that your children occasionally help you to see something in an entirely new light. This happened to me not long ago, when our daughter became quite upset after I asked her to clean up. She wanted to keep playing, so she got angry at me and said a few unkind words. After dishing out a mild consequence, we sat and talked about it. I asked her one of those “parent” questions that may or may not be helpful, but you know, sometimes you’re genuinely curious. I asked her if she acted that way at school when the teacher asked her to clean up. And, without intending an ounce of disrespect toward me, she said, “Of course not, that would be embarrassing.” It’s not that I had never considered how contextual motivation could be, I had just never heard it said so clearly …