Many couples come to my office because they don’t feel deeply connected. Often, one of them is lonely in the relationship because they feel like they can’t bridge the distance. These couples describe their relationships as containing little intimacy. But something recently reminded me of the divine ingredients of connection and how simple—but not easy—it can be to (re)connect. During a recent appointment, John, an educated man, was vigorously questioning the #MeToo movement. He spoke about issues of race and gender, and how identity politics has become negative and destructive. When he paused, I suggested that the identity movement made him feel defensive and angry. He denied feeling defensive but shared that, as a teacher, the new politics forced him to be hypervigilant about his words and actions with students, lest he be wrongly accused. I empathized with his experience and how hard it must be to be a teacher …