“I could never forgive him after what he did to me.”
“You want me to do what? Forgive that person? No way!”
“I’m supposed to just let them get away with treating me like that? Not going to happen.”
As a mental health professional for 35 years, I have heard people say things like this countless times.
My response is always the same: “Holding on to hurts is toxic to your heart and soul. Forgiving someone who harmed you is never easy, but working through the process removes a major obstacle on the path toward wellness.”
People who seek counseling at the clinic I direct are often surprised when we ask whether they have granted forgiveness to those who have harmed them. They fail to see the link between their mental distress and unresolved conflict with others. But my experience has erased all doubt that hanging on to offenses and emotional wounds is an effective (and unfortunate) way to punish yourself….