Every one of us has thought patterns that keep us stuck: Discouragement: What’s the point, I’m going to fail anyway, why even try, it’s too hard.
Rationalizing: It’s OK to skip this, I can do it later, one time won’t hurt, do it but don’t try that hard, wait out the clock, go through the motions.
Defensiveness: It’s not my fault, I didn’t mean to, why do they have to attack me?
Avoidance: It’s overwhelming, let me just check one message, I don’t know if I can do this.
Blaming others: Why do they have to be that way, they’re always treating me badly, I can’t have a good life because of them.
Anticipating judgment: People won’t like this, they won’t value my contributions, they’ll think I’m a failure or stupid, I shouldn’t even try.
Harshness towards self: I suck, I need to do better, I’m always screwing up, I should be better than this by now. The exact categorization of the thought pattern isn’t important — what matters is whether the thought pattern is helpful. What effect does it have on you when you think it? Is it moving you toward the life you want, or getting you stuck?
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