A mom of two boys recently asked: “I have one son in private school and the other isn’t.  Should I explore private schools for the other son, even though, he’s doing great in public school? I want to be fair and offer them equal opportunities for success.” This question really gets at key issues: When a child is doing well, thriving, has friends, grades are solid, and most importantly, seems happy, don’t change schools. Think of that old expression, “If it ain’t broke don’t fix it.” In medicine and diagnosing we say it more formally, “First, do no harm.” The more we intervene with good intention, the greater the risk of messing things up. As your children get older, approaching middle school and beyond, you should wholeheartedly adopt the following definition of fairness: What’s fair isn’t giving them all the same things, but what each of them needs when they need it. …