At an overpriced tapas joint, I once took a chance on charred cucumber salad. The dish sounded counterintuitive, to put it delicately, because everyone knows a cucumber should be served cool. Cooking a cucumber would be like giving Samson a haircut before the battle. A cool cucumber is a happy cucumber.
The best have tried, and failed, to find a way to cook a cucumber that people want to eat. Even James Beard, with a recipe for poached cucumbers, couldn’t pull it off. The limp slices of cuke were only rendered edible with the cream, mushrooms, and twist of black pepper he called for. I was not converted….