I am a 75-year-old mom of two grown children. My son has for years borrowed endless amounts of money. Each and every time I bring up repayment or a payment plan, it always ends up in a terrible situation. Ten years ago, he and his wife signed an IOU letter; now, he tells me his wife has nothing to do with the loans, and I should never even mention the letter to her.
In order to be fair to my other child, in my will I have subtracted all the loans from my son’s inheritance, but I feel so guilty doing this because his wife got all the benefit of his inheritance. Will she share hers with him? It’s obvious to me that she will not. Should I put a lien on their home? When this came up in one of our unpleasant discussions, I was told that if I were to do such a thing, I would never see them, including my grandchild, of course. When I suggested monthly payments or even a payment every other month, they said they can’t do this, as it would cut into their living standards….